Whatever you are trying to do – e.g., approach a woman, take her to the dance floor, ask her on a date, or take her home – becomes 5 times harder if you hesitate beforehand. Whatever you are going do, do it 100% and with no fear. Related to this: if you are ever wondering whether you should kiss her, take her home, move her, touch her, etc. – the very fact that you are wondering about it means to go for it..
If you give off even a hint of judging women for their sexuality, you’re not going to take her home that night. Women hook up with men who make them feel attractive, safe, and excited. They don’t hook up with men who make them feel insecure, judged, or defensive..
Being overly “respectful”
Genuine respect is a good thing. You should respect yourself and the people around you. But some men take “respectfulness” as an excuse not to take action. It’s not ‘respectful’ to leave her alone to talk to her friends instead of meeting her; she’s an adult woman and if you’re genuinely intruding, she’ll tell you. It’s not ‘respectful’ to keep your hands to yourself when talking to a woman; it just means that she’s less likely to be interested in you. Respect is like a pulse. It’s something you should have, but beyond that, it’s not a calling card. No woman in the world is going to circle back and give you her phone number because you were so respectful earlier at the party not to bother her when she was talking to her friends.
Being flat is a good way to bore her. When attracting women, you need to have emotional range. Some things need to excite you and some things need to disturb you or bother you. Women aren’t attracted to facts and logic – attraction is an emotional process and if you don’t have emotional range, there’s nothing for her to latch on to.
Being a talking head
Touch early, touch often is a Love Systems mantra. In theLove Systems Triad Model, the physical conversation has the same weight as the actual words being spoken, and this is deliberate. It has been proven more times than I can count that people who touch each other during conversations remember each other better and have more positive memories of each other than those who don’t.
Being too serious
Don’t talk to a woman like you’re trying to defuse a bomb. Be playful. Tease. Say something surprising or shocking, just for fun. Give off the vibe that you are there to have fun and amuse yourself. Even if she a hard-driving businesswoman by day, if she’s out socializing, she probably wants to be treated as a woman instead as a businessperson. So, give her that. Similarly, if you’re getting resistance to something, drop the logic talk. Change her mood, not her mind.
Failure to LEAD
The difference between “would you like to come home with me?” and [taking her hand] “come on, let’s go” is often the difference between a night with a beautiful woman and a night imagining a beautiful woman. In general, assume that she is interested in you. Assume that she wants to spend time with you. You can probably already think of ways you might act differently if you knew these were true. So do it. Similarly, you’ll never say anything as horrible as “do you think you’d like to give me your phone number” – instead you’ll say something like “I’m going to get back to my friends in a minute but give me your phone number and I’ll hit you up in a bit”.