8 Jun 2015 Ferado

What are the 8 attraction switches?

“Attraction switches” are a powerful concept. I’m going to march through the eight attraction switches here, and give a short paragraph on each along with links where you can learn more:

  1. Looks and healthFor every woman who says looks don’t matter, they do. Looks don’t matter as much for most women as for most men, but they matter. Make the most of your looks. Any guy can become plausibly good-looking enough to be with beautiful women with a trip to the mall and a fashionable haircut. Being good-looking as a man is much more about fashion and grooming than what you look like with your shirt off. Read the fashion chapter in Magic Bullets or download this audio guide (first 10 mins free). Also check out this fashion article I wrote a few year ago.

    The health component is simple, and comes from our instinctive biological responses (we don’t want to be around unhealthy people, for good reasons). Don’t talk about being sick. Don’t talk about being sick before. Exotic sports injuries are fine, showing her you have an active lifestyle is usually good, and most of the ‘health’ part of the looks and health attraction switch is common sense.

  2. Social IntelligenceMost dating coaches try to gloss over this part, but it’s really hard to be amazing with women 1-1 and socially awkward around everyone else. But that’s what a lot of socially awkward guys do – they assume the problem is with their interactions with beautiful women as opposed to a personality trait that they should (and easily can) fix.

    Social intelligence means not being awkward, being able to get things done in the world (like talk your way into a sold out show, or get a great table at a restaurant), and making her feel comfortable with your leadership. For more on social intelligence, check out this interview – I did that one myself!

  3. HumorIt’s not a newsflash that women like men with a sense of humor. (Why this is the case is pretty interesting and I go into detail on this in the Magic Bullets Handbook). So I’ll focus instead on one major pitfall – a lot of men try to use the same type of humor over and over. Like everything is self-depracating, or everything is sarcastic, or everything is misinterpretation. That gets old, quickly. Vary your humor.

    Love Systems is fortunate to have some professional stand up comedians among our past and present instructor crew. Learn from their insights and how to improve your sense of humor on this interview or this interview or this article.

  4. Social Status

    Most women instinctively want to be with the King instead of the peasant. This is why women love celebrities, or anyone on a stage or anyone who has been on television. It all comes down to social status. If you don’t have high status in the world at large, fix this problem and/or make the job easier for yourself by building relative social status. You may not be king of the world, but you can a legend at your local bar where everyone knows you. Any women who come in will see you as high-status.

3 Jun 2015 Ferado

For Texting Women, this works like crazy

Texting isn’t just about words

There’s a great thread on The Lounge (a free private online community just for Love Systems instructors and live training graduate) where guys are sharing some of their best texts and text conversations. A lot of guys were surprised by how much top guys will use pictures and memes. Text is still the bread and butter but sometimes copying the right image off the internet can make all the difference.

Text like you Facebook

Most guys think of texting like you’re saying something specific and personalized to the person you’re talking to. And often you are. But you can text in the same way you’d do a status update – send her a personality quiz, or a link to an article or video you thought was interesting. It doesn’t always have to be about what’s going on in your or her life. The text message transcripts I just added to the Ultimate Guide to Phone and Text Game give a lot of examples of this.

Don’t Delete Old Phone Numbers

The Ultimate Guide to Phone and Text Game now comes with a companion volume Revitalizing Old Phone Numbers. There are certain magic texts that will get most girls to respond if you’ve been out of touch for a while. There are a bunch of them in Revitalizing Old Phone Numbers for different situations, but for a good go-to example, try “I just met your twin”.

Texting isn’t just for dates

A lot of men think of texting as something you do when you go for the phone number and date, as opposed to taking her home that night. But texting can help with same-night situations as well. Don’t be afraid to text women you’ve just met. Women often find it easier to sexualize the conversation through text than face-to-face. If it’s too early in the night to take her home, tell her you have to get back to your friends but that you’ll text her later. Then you can continue the text conversation all night until its time to tell her to come find you (so you can take her home).

Don’t text

Sometimes picking up the phone makes all the difference. With some women over, say, 35, they see it as a sign of your maturity and/or sincerity of your intentions. And with any woman – if you’re having trouble getting a good text conversation going or moving things toward meeting up, try giving her a call. Usually what I like to do is to send at least two messages (with two replies from her) and then say something like “I have a funny story about that, but I’m just heading out. I’ll call you from the car in 5 mins”. (Notice that you’re not ASKING; you’re LEADING).

2 Jun 2015 Ferado

7 Game Killers

Hesitation

Whatever you are trying to do – e.g., approach a woman, take her to the dance floor, ask her on a date, or take her home – becomes 5 times harder if you hesitate beforehand. Whatever you are going do, do it 100% and with no fear. Related to this: if you are ever wondering whether you should kiss her, take her home, move her, touch her, etc. – the very fact that you are wondering about it means to go for it..

Judgment

If you give off even a hint of judging women for their sexuality, you’re not going to take her home that night. Women hook up with men who make them feel attractive, safe, and excited. They don’t hook up with men who make them feel insecure, judged, or defensive..

Being overly “respectful”

Genuine respect is a good thing. You should respect yourself and the people around you. But some men take “respectfulness” as an excuse not to take action. It’s not ‘respectful’ to leave her alone to talk to her friends instead of meeting her; she’s an adult woman and if you’re genuinely intruding, she’ll tell you. It’s not ‘respectful’ to keep your hands to yourself when talking to a woman; it just means that she’s less likely to be interested in you. Respect is like a pulse. It’s something you should have, but beyond that, it’s not a calling card. No woman in the world is going to circle back and give you her phone number because you were so respectful earlier at the party not to bother her when she was talking to her friends.

Flatlining

Being flat is a good way to bore her. When attracting women, you need to have emotional range. Some things need to excite you and some things need to disturb you or bother you. Women aren’t attracted to facts and logic – attraction is an emotional process and if you don’t have emotional range, there’s nothing for her to latch on to.

Being a talking head

Touch early, touch often is a Love Systems mantra. In theLove Systems Triad Model, the physical conversation has the same weight as the actual words being spoken, and this is deliberate. It has been proven more times than I can count that people who touch each other during conversations remember each other better and have more positive memories of each other than those who don’t.

Being too serious

Don’t talk to a woman like you’re trying to defuse a bomb. Be playful. Tease. Say something surprising or shocking, just for fun. Give off the vibe that you are there to have fun and amuse yourself. Even if she a hard-driving businesswoman by day, if she’s out socializing, she probably wants to be treated as a woman instead as a businessperson. So, give her that. Similarly, if you’re getting resistance to something, drop the logic talk. Change her mood, not her mind.

Failure to LEAD

The difference between “would you like to come home with me?” and [taking her hand] “come on, let’s go” is often the difference between a night with a beautiful woman and a night imagining a beautiful woman. In general, assume that she is interested in you. Assume that she wants to spend time with you. You can probably already think of ways you might act differently if you knew these were true. So do it. Similarly, you’ll never say anything as horrible as “do you think you’d like to give me your phone number” – instead you’ll say something like “I’m going to get back to my friends in a minute but give me your phone number and I’ll hit you up in a bit”.

2 Jun 2015 Ferado

10 Rules for Social Circle Mastery

  1. To break into a new social circle, add value without sucking up. Introduce guys to girls you’ve met or your female friends (this is a great way to practice having an abundance mentality). Invite people to concerts, parties, or other events if you have a hookup. Don’t take any value until you’re established within the group. Make
    your first few interactions short, move on well before your welcome is up, and leave on a high note.
  2. When you hook up with a girl within a social circle, make sure that neither of you talk about it, or other women will think you won’t be discreet. In the friends with benefits audio guide, Braddock and I gave examples of “discretion frames” – the challenge here is to communicate to a woman “I’m not going to talk about this and you shouldn’t either” without her feeling like you’re devaluing her.
  3. Waterfall theory: when you hook up with a new girl in a social circle, start at the top (with one of the hottest women). If word gets out, you’ll have a much easier time dating another woman in your social circle if you’ve hooked up with one of the hotter women than one of their less attractive friends.
  4. You will be perceived as being the product of the five people you spend most of your time with. I’m not saying to be mercenary with your friends or cut off your old friends. It’s much better to raise their game rather than cutting them off anyway. That said, look to fill any gaps in your social circle (e.g., the guy who knows everyone, the guy who always has the best hookups to events and parties, a good wingman, the female friend who makes other women feel comfortable, etc.).
  5. Women especially look to how other people treat you, for cues on what kind of a person you are and what you do or don’t have going for you. (This is where social proof and pre-selection come from). They also look to how you treat your friends. You and your friends should always act like each other are the coolest people in the world.
  6. Put some attractive women you approach into the friend zone. (Do it before they do). Hot women tend to have attractive friends. Think of it like farming. You don’t eat everything you harvest – save some seeds to plant for next year. Married women are also great for this – a lot of them miss the excitement of dating, so if they like you, they’ll be happy to set you up with their friends and live vicariously through you.
  7. You are what you do. Where are you investing your time and energy in life? That’s how people will see you, and, more importantly, a lens through which you look at the world and interact with it. Track how you spend the next 168 hours (one week). If you’re like most of my clients, you’ll be amazed.
  8. General social skills matter (not just social skills for meeting and attracting women). If you’re someone who sometimes comes across as awkward or you sometimes find yourself saying or doing the wrong thing, check out the audio guide I did with Nick Hoss on how to be cool.
  9. Don’t practice within your social circle! There’s a reason why even a nightclub-hater like my client Nathan went out to clubs a bunch of times after he took his bootcamp. That way, when he started to use Love Systems to attract women connected to his social circle, or women who he would see again, he knew what he was doing and could avoid mistakes.
  10. Social Circle Mastery is covered thoroughly in various posts on The Attraction Forums. Do a search. Or, you can get the whole system on 3 DVDs, complete with expert commentary, as taught by the creator of Social Circle Mastery, Nick Braddock.
8 Dec 2014 Ferado

11 Way to get Women to Approach YOU – Stolen from Savoy Love Systems

Lovesystems.com always has some good material, tips and such for getting women to like you. Here are the 11 ways to get women to approach you. Remember to try them out and let others know about your success.

  1. Give her an excuse. Have something on you that gives her an easy excuse to start a conversation. It can be anything (e.g., a t-shirt written in another language, a travel guide to Tibet, a Rubik’s Cube) as long as it’s easily noticeable and easy for a stranger to make a comment about it.
  2. Be 10% louder. Louder people get more attention. Louder conversations draw more people in. Don’t be awkward or look like you’re lacking in social skills, but a couple decibels can make all the difference.
  3. Be a regular. Maybe she didn’t have the courage to approach you the first time around, but she thought about you and decided that if she saw you again, she’d make her move. Give her that opportunity.
  4. “Trick” her into thinking you’re a male model. We’ve tested this. A man with model-quality looks (we actually hired a model) with mediocre body language gets approached LESS than an average guy with great body language. In other words, learning good body language is like giving yourself model-quality looks. Wow.
  5. Learning good body language for attracting women isn’t easy, but worth a shot.
  6. Meet me halfway. Buy a damn ticket. You can do everything else on this list and it won’t mean a damn thing if there are no women around. Of course there are bars, clubs, and coffee shops, but also consider some less traditional places to meet women like classes or sports.
  7. Have fun. If you’re having fun, you will naturally draw people in. Women respond to fun. Who wants to approach someone who looks boring and miserable? Women will approach the guy who seems fun and makes things happen.
  8. Be the social connector. If you’re at a party, bar, or event, be the guy who knows everyone. Even if you don’t. Introduce yourself to everyone, to other men, to women you’re not interested in, and introduce people to each other. Not only is this extremely attractive to women in itself (social proof), but it also makes you much easier for her to approach.
  9. Attraction Fashion. Dress well, but not what a fashion magazine would consider dressing well. Dress to express your identity. Dress in a way that is attractive to women, not to fashion advertisers. Contact us about setting up a personal consultation if this is a potential issue for you.
  10. Smile. You’re nervous when you approach women, right? She’ll be just as nervous to approach you. Smile and look like you’re someone who is easy to talk to.
  11. Do some approaches yourself. Women who you don’t approach will feel jealous and left out of the fun, particularly if other women seem to be having a good time with you. This will motivate some women to approach you.

Do Women Approach Men?

Of course they do. Why wouldn’t they? But do the things in this article and you’ll know for a fact.

24 Dec 2012 Ferado

Mystery Method: Group Theory & Opening

Aside from the annoying guy that narrates the video, Mystery does a good job talking about group theory & opening. I think this is old material because Mystery should be looking pretty old these days. But if you want to be better at talking to girls, this should help.

Read & watch all that you can, and someday, just someday, you’ll get laid.

26 Nov 2012 Ferado

Video: Mystery Method Live – Videos, Training, And More

This video was filmed at the Project Hollywood Playboy Mansion Mystery Method event – this clip is on how to best spark attraction, before you even say hi.

They put together this channel to expose Mystery Method training at its best. Helping guys and girls worldwide spark a connection since 2007 Area51Lifestyle.com has been sharing the best when it comes to high value relationship advice, training and community.

16 Jan 2011 Ferado

Video: Day Game – Exposed

[flashvideo file=http://d3hi1yy8td6rlb.cloudfront.net/speer-day-game-barnes-and-noble-1.mp4 /]

Some video on the web that was on this here originally. Not to special, but when it’s combined with other success videos, it’ll give you the idea of how to approach your next girlfriend.

Enjoy.